January 16th, 2003

It’s night two of therapy. Mel is with and very helpful. I start to flush my IV and my right arm bubbles up. I try again. Mom calls Accredo Therapy, the IV provider, and they have a nurse call me back. It’s 6pm; a nurse named Deborah calls back and alerts me that it will be 10pm before she is able to come over and fix the IV. Each IV treatment is 2 hours and I know it will be a mere 1:30 am before I get to go to sleep that is if I can sleep. Last night took me 2 ½ hours to wind down from the steroids. I go to the bathroom and break down into tears. I ask “Why me?” and keep telling myself out loud that this isn’t fair. I finally calm down after a few minutes and I go try to sleep. I can’t. I go in the tub for a hot bath until the nurse gets there. At this point, I am livid. I hate needles and really hate life at the moment. She comes over and throws in the IV like a pro and off she goes. I thank God. Everything runs smoothly and I try to sleep. It’s 2am and I finally sleep.