January 17th, 2003

I go to work at 1:30p.m. to set up Citrix, a remote email server, to work from home. Our work IT guy shows up at 3:50 p.m. He sets my computer up and I finally leave work at 5:30 p.m. I go driving and clear my head. I talk to my friend Michael and stare at the city skyline for an hour and a half blankly. It’s Friday, and the girls are coming over before we go out for girl’s night out. I start my IV drip at 7:00pm. After much procrastination and dread that the IV needs to be redone again, it finally all goes well for the first time. I start the drip and I start to get ready. Jen can’t look at me while she is over and I don’t blame her. I say nothing to them about the IV etc. and I tell them to just go ahead at 9pm for downtown and I will follow when I am done. I tell them to put their mind at ease so they don’t have to see me all goofy with wires and IV everywhere. I finish with no problems, flush my IV and finish getting ready. I am so wired. I go down town with the girls and have a great time. I’m not supposed to drink, but I do anyway. I can’t stand being so up. I fell like I am on drugs. I am shaking terribly and go for a drink to bring me down. I lay off the drinks after 3 and call it enough. Michael sends a limousine for us and picks us all up. We stay out all night, after bar, and Mel and I come home Saturday morning. I don't really have the energy for it, but I don't care.