January 20th, 2003

Today is my spinal tap. I go to work today around 9:00a.m and am very, very nervous. I head to my procedure with mom. I find out I have to have more blood drawn before the tap. I am so pissed off. Nobody told me about the blood draw stuff. I am about ready to spit needles. I hate them and have been poked enough. The neo-nazi needle nurse stabs me abruptly. I take every last ounce of calm I have left to keep from punching her and my mom reads me like a book knowing I could have snapped at any moment at her. The nice stab she gave me later bruises quite nicely for the next 2 weeks along with the IV bruises from the IV line. I look fantastic. Almost like someone beat the hell out of me. I go to the tap procedure room. I lie there and try to get comfortable. My back spasms and I can’t get comfortable. My mom is there and she calms me. I cry silently. I don’t want to do this. The doctor starts with the cleaning and then the Novocain shot. It stings and it pinches and then it really burns. I hate needles. UGH! My butt and legs go suddenly cold. IT feels like someone is poured ice water down the crack of my rear. The doctor tells me I will feel some pressure. It feels like a dull backache. It’s uncomfortable, but not excruciating or anything. He lets the fluid drip while the table I am on is tipped at a 45-degree angle head up. He says the worst is over and we chat. He asks me of my employment and my family and my diagnosis and recent and past tests. He takes 8cc’s of spinal fluid and tells me about the spine, its fluid, its color and the purpose of the fluid and what you can tell from a spinal tap. He notes my curiosity and he shows me the vial of fluid. It’s clear and acts like water. He finishes about 20 minutes later and I roll over face up to a recovery table and wait an hour for good measure and drink some juice and eat some food. Mom brings me a turkey sandwich and I inhale it. She tells me I should have showed my butt to the cute doctor walking by to ease me up a bit. I finally start to find the situation funny. She makes me laugh again by telling me I am lucky that my father isn’t there to play with anything and everything. She notes specifically the up/down button on the recovery bed for my sake. I wait an hour, get dressed and go home. The drive home is a little uncomfortable, kind of like someone drop kicked me in the kidneys. Mom and I order pizza hut, start a fire and I lie down on the couch and rest in the living room. Melanie picks up my Neurontin prescription that Dr. Francis calls in for me. I eventually fall asleep and rest. I sleep fairly early tonight (10:00pm).