Wednesday, February 22, 2006

February 22nd, 2006 - Finally Some Thoughts

I have overcome my writer's block, injections still suck and sleep is so wonderful these days now with morning shots. I have been working and loving work to the fullest. I have been in contact with a lovely lady named Laura, whose 17 year old daughter Alea was newly diagnosed with MS recently, has started injections and experiences the pains of what those of us starting therapy discover. My thoughts go out to her as a mother. Watching your children be frustrated or someone you love in complete exhaustive depression is not a highlight I wish onto anyone. My thoughts are with Laura and Alea. My thoughts lately are also with Robin whose 25 year old daughter was recently diagnosed. By coicidence, she was diagnosed at 25 and also has a Mike who loves her to no bounds. Each of us deserves people who love us to no bound. Robin writes:
It is now several days later. She began to ask questions that night, and the next day got on the internet and researched all day. She showed me the spirit I have always known her to have when she said to me that night, "If I'm going to share my body with MS, I'm going to have to learn to get along with it." I know Rachel has only begun a long and challenging journey. She does not yet realize the fullness of this challenge, and I worry that when she does begin to see that it will take her willpower and her strength. I already see how it has taken a toll on her physical endurance in such a short time. When I see the things you have been through and the extraordinary way you have dealt with them, I am comforted, and my hope is renewed. I also see what is important to managing day to day life and how to align myself in ways that will be helpful to my daughter. I want to thank you for this.I know this has been a letter all about us and I feel somewhat selfish for reaching into your life and taking solace and strength from you, but somehow, I get the impression that this will be ok with you.
Yes. It is ok. It's great. My heart goes out to you both and knows the frustration and solace I have found in others as you have found in me. May we always feel loved. Period. I have been having a lot of L'hermittes response lately. L'hermitte's ign is an electrical sensation (Shock, Lightning Bolt) that some MSers experience, when flexing the neck, tilting, or lowering the head towards the chest. It begins at the base of the skull, runs down the Spine and into the limbs, before exiting through the hands or feet. I think it feels as if you are leaning your back against the fridge when the compressor is on. It's strange and comes and goes, but makes me laugh anyway. Close your eyes and you think you are on a tilt o' whirl somewhere and you never had to pay, haha! Anyway, these last few months have been about getting back to normal. I think I've done that quite well with some minor falls off of the horse. I knit everyday I am awake nearly and Monday night I forgot how to purl. Right in the middle of a row, I just forgot. I stopped and was easily reminded that I will never be the same, but in someways I will be better. If I never take anything for granted I will always be a better person in the end whether or not I never knit again someday or forget how to altogether. Scared or not, I'll be me and I think that is a hell of something to be if you ask me. *wink*


E said...

thats worse block than i get ;P

mdmhvonpa said...

Heya, welcome back! Sorry to hear that so many associates of yours are getting to experience the MS wonder.

ckays1967 said...

oh do I know what you are talking about with the whole forgetting thing and being okay with it....

Isn't it good to just love yourself anyway?

Last night I opened the fridge to get my Nyquel out, took off the cap and went to the den and looked at my books on my book shelves. A little while later I went in the kitchen and wondered why the fridge was open.

And laughed at myself.

Never figured out why I was in the den either.