Wednesday, August 30, 2006

August 30, 2006

Today I'm home from work and I'm going to bed early. I have no idea how this has happened, but it seems like a blessing. I'm exhausted. Not much else to say. Keeping my chin up and trying to dig out. Ha. Ha. Someone told me I seem depressed today. Thanks, Captain Obvious. Think you could send over Leutenant Duh for the full workup? Nice to know that I still think I'm funny in spite of feeling like poo. LOL. Night all.

Monday, August 28, 2006

August 28, 2006 - A little faith or little faith...

Today I have found the urge to write in this journal. I once used to find solace here. Instead lately I have found myself avoiding the one thing that used to free my journal. I find that lately it's not a little faith, it's little faith that I have. Every day is a chore to get through, my concentration is nil. I find that socially I want nothing, I can't wait until the day ends and I dread when it starts. I'm in need of some major mind set that is far from what I have going on right now. I feel like everything I do is some sort of test and that God is indeed doing just that. He's testing me. I moved in with my boyfriend, I miss my house. I miss my friends that have moved on and I have no urge to put efforts into new ones. I feel like my boyfriend is completely disappointed in me and has lost faith in me as a person. I feel like I fight uphill everyday to be something other than depressed and feeling like this person I hate. I find the only time lately I'm at peace is when I am sleeping. I should be doing just that right now. It
couldn't hurt considering what time it is. Tomorrow I promise that I will be back here writing. Whether or not it makes sense to anyone is beyond me, but I'll be back. Babbling and maybe finding again the solace that I have lost. I'm sorry I don't have better news, but at least I'm honest. I hope everyone is well and I promise to keep trying to keep my chin up or at least a little more than it is now. Goodnight all.