Friday, February 28, 2003

February 28th, 2003

I go to work. My back is SORE and when I move certain directions, it hurts worse. I also have a small headache and it doesn’t seem to be getting worse, so I stay at work. When I lay down, the headache seems to go away, so I am worried that the sac around my spine didn’t seal right away this time. I stay at home tonight. I was supposed to go out, but I can’t. My head hurts. Jennifer comes over and her, Melanie, and I watch Sex and the City episodes. I fall asleep on the couch and of course, they laugh at me after I laugh at myself. I head to bed around 11:00p.m.

Thursday, February 27, 2003

February 27th, 2003

Today is spinal tap #2. Again, I get to draw blood and have it mindset that I will slap and/or knock out the nurse drawing blood if she messes with me. Melanie drives me to my appointment and she tries so desperately to cheer me up. She succeeds some of the time, but I am still distant, pissed, and fairly quiet. She doesn’t push the issue, she can read me clearly and knows that I am at my limit. Again, I go through the spinal tap, only this time the doctor is an asshole. He doesn’t wait nearly as long for the Novocain to kick in and it hurts like hell at first. I try to tell him I’m in pain and he keeps going. If I didn’t have my naked ass – ass up I’d smack him a good one. The topical kicks in and finally it numbs. He finishes and this time, my back is sore like someone really kidney punched me this time. I lay again in recovery for an hour and Melanie and I drive home, well Melanie drives, and I settle in bed after grabbing something to eat.

Wednesday, February 26, 2003

February 26th, 2003

Dr. Francis calls today. I am now extremely pissed off as hell. It seems that when they did my original spinal tap, they didn’t test for lyme disease bacteria in my spinal fluid, which means another spinal tap is well, on tap. They schedule one tomorrow and I spend the whole day silently cursing everything in existence. At this point, I have had enough poking and prodding. I call my mother immediately after I schedule the appointment for tomorrow and I break down. I am at my ropes end. I can’t take anymore. I am mentally exhausted and this was the icing on the cake. I go to bed knowing what is ahead and I hate every minute up until then.

Wednesday, February 19, 2003

February 19th, 2003

Today I was supposed to call MS Pathways to start Betaseron. I didn’t. I can’t tell if I just put it off because I am not thrilled with the whole Idea or that I was busy at work. Probably both, and either way, I should have called. I am nervous about he insurance coverage and how much they will cover. A bill or two has started rolling in at 80% coverage and I know there will be many more. I have a few estimates at around 10,000-12,000 dollars a year for therapy and wonder how much the medication will actually set me back and is it worth it. I wonder if I will ever be able to switch jobs with no hassle in coverage, etc. I decide now is not the time for me to start. I wait.

Thursday, February 13, 2003

February 13th, 2003

I finally get another request finished for Dr. M/Dr. W’s practice (more childhood doctors). I don’t know what I expect to find or stumble upon on them, but I imagine it would be a good idea to have them within reach, just in case. I find out there is one more to request from Dr. H, which I put in immediately today after receiving it by fax.

Tuesday, February 11, 2003

February 11th, 2003

I thought I would start therapy today already and think I could have, but waited too late in the day. I spend the whole day pouring over information instead of working. I choose a drug called Betaseron due to no refrigeration and the frequency of the injection, every other day just under the skin. Ugh, once again, may I mention I hate needles. I haven’t used the Neurontin for a couple of days and my fingers feel pretty good, but my recall memory is awful. Maybe it’s just me, too much on my mind? I finally got a decent night’s sleep last night. I was tucked in at 9:20p.m. and slept solid. It felt good. It’s been almost a week since I slept through the night again.

Monday, February 10, 2003

February 10th, 2003

I go to my follow up appointment today. I talk with Dr. Francis about therapy options and she checks my reflexes and coordination again. She tells me to come back in three months and tells me to talk to Jennifer out front and set the appointment from now. I talk to Jennifer and pick up the last information on therapy options. I am to call her after I look over the information and choose one. I have taken tomorrow off.

Friday, February 07, 2003

February 7, 8 & 9th, 2003

Mom and my sister Holly drive down and stay so that mom can go to my follow up appointment. We go eat with my Aunt Joyce and hit some thrift shops along the way during the weekend. I make a haul as usual and spend too much money as usual on clothes, too. I didn’t get enough sleep this weekend, but I pull myself through it very slowly. I didn’t go out at all this weekend.

Tuesday, February 04, 2003

February 4th, 2003

Today I sleep in until 7:25a.m. It feels SO good. I am not sore from working out last night. I took about 10grams of ribose before to tease my working out back into my schedule. I slept so well last night. It seems like a long time since I had that kind of rest. Melanie stayed over and we talked about her moving in. Work is busy today, lots of odds and ends. I work out on the treadmill at lunch for 25 minutes. I feel dizzy twice so I slow down and lower my heart rate. I get changed after showering and I have electrical vibrations down my spine. It subsides shortly after. I go back to work and call my mom trying to find my old medical records from my childhood. I find the ones for Dr. S, one of my doctors. One doctor down, one more to go.

Monday, February 03, 2003

February 3rd, 2003

I find my right foot dragging today, but my vision is almost back to normal, in fact it is better now than before this attack happened. I had originally thought my prescription was getting worse, but it was the ms taking over that made my vision worse. I, from time to time read the therapy books I grabbed at Dr. Francis’ office after my vision test and I read as much as I can. The therapy is supposed to keep the attacks from happening again and they include, of all things, injections. I laugh to myself and shake my head on this one. What better way to conquer something you despise. I talk with Melanie and go and work out for the first time in months. I spend 20 minutes on the treadmill and do some yoga. I relax myself and hop into bed. It’s 11:35 and I feel fairly good this evening if I do say so myself. I finally start to get around to getting this into my computer with some sort of order. It was taken from my journal, which isn’t always easy to decipher or read for that matter.

Sunday, February 02, 2003

February 2nd, 2003

I sleep in until 10:30 a.m. and I sleep from 1:00p.m. -5:45p.m. Some friends stop over to look at my roommate's daughter's old stroller. I find some energy to cook and I quickly find myself completely exhausted at 9:30p.m. I call dad, chat a bit, and head to bed at 10:30p.m.

Saturday, February 01, 2003

February 1st, 2003

I catch up on rest during the day all day and go to Zelo with my best friend Melanie at around 10p.m.