Wednesday, August 17, 2005

August 17th, 2005

Today I have had it. I can't go to work. My kidneys hurt and I can't even get flip flops on. My skin is horrible, I haven't sleep in days soundly and I am so bloated and have an enormous headache. My body has had enough. I stay home and sleep and pound water down in hopes to get back to some normalcy. I succeed a bit. I have an appetite today as well :o) I go to see Dr. Francis at 3pm. She checks me out. She states she wants to see me in 3 weeks and follow up on a dose of IV steriods in 6 weeks to normal everything out and suppress my immune system again. She sets up a lab screen for baseline for my now approved Rebif injections and I go to the lab and have blood drawn. She also schedules an MRI with contrast for next Monday, the 22nd at 1:45pm to see if she can see anything new that is going on and help see what has been progressing or perhaps causing my flareups. I fall asleep at 11pm, but manage to drink a lot more water today and get my shoes on finally. I fall asleep with something on my mind that has been plaguing me for 2 days. I've been seeing a guy now since January. He has been there for me through two attacks, but is that enough. Do I have enough energy to continue a relationship throughout all my stress? It seems like he just isn't there for me right now and I really need him the most. I wonder if it's best to take a break until he can be there if that is at all possible. I finally forget about it and drift off.

4 comments:

Twinkie said...

i'm so sorry about you having MS. my best friend from high school got diagnosed with it about four years ago. and though i'm not trying to compare my struggles with yours (you by far have it worse), i have fibromyalgia and can emphathize a bit on having a disabling disease. you have great days and you have really really bad days. i've had this now for about five years and i'm finally get the hang of it. i look forward in reading more of your blog.

Michelle said...

Twinkie,
Thank you for your kind words. I can sympathize with you as well. We all find our inner strength sometimes when we least expect it. Good luck in your struggles that arise. Although I have highlighted some things here that I have been through that are less than favorable, I still have good days, too. Thanks for reading!

Eriksgirl said...

I am so sorry you are going through such a hard time. My husband (Erik) has MS, and sometimes it is hard to know how best to support him. I don't know what your boyfriend's situation is, or what he is or isn't doing, but just keep in mind that sometimes it is hard to know exactly what to do. My (totally unsolicited) advice would be to make sure he knows you need him to be there before you write things off. Again, I don't know the whole situation...

I do hope you get to feeling better very soon. I haven't read your entire blog, but it looks awesome! You have a wonderful attitude, and I think your blog will be a wonderful help to others who come along.

Michelle said...

Eriksgirl,

You site has been a bit of an inspiration as well. I found it today and it has indeeed helped in knowing that there are people out there who do what you do day to day. My situation is sticky with him, but the fact remains that I think I need him here and he just can't be with other factors that can't be helped. One day at a time though, that's all any of us can do and oh yea, no rash sudden moves *wink*.