Wednesday, September 07, 2005

September 7th, 2005 - Injection #7

I got up this morning and again I feel like my rear end is dragging somewhere about a foot behind me. I wish I could magically stun myself to wake up sometimes. UGH. Mornings are such a pain in the A**. (Kids ask your parents what that word is.) Two sunkists, two coffees later, I was awake. My skin is horrible again. I think it's because I've been living on caffienated beverages and pizza and or soup for my main three meals. Not too healthy if you ask me, but I just don't care lately. Again today, I'm just quiet and totally not myself. I physically, aside from being tired, feel awesome. My feet have finally almost returned to normal. Still waiting on the bottoms to have feeling return, but for the most part, back to normal. Mentally, a whole different can of worms. I can't figure out where my mind is, I can't concentrate, I can't say what I want to say when I want to say it, and I can't figure out words to say either. Upstairs, I need a vacation. I called the pharmacy that fills my Rebif for my insurance. They only do one month at a time prescription filling. With my insurance mail order pharmacy, they do 3 months at a time and charge you 2 copays. With name brand drugs, it makes the price drop to the generic copay. With the pharmacy for my Rebif though, no such luck. I'm starting to hate my insurance company. I'm guessing, in fact I'm sure, that I'm not alone on this one. I feel like someone should get their CEO drunk on a consistant basis until 1/2 of the inconsistencies are gone. HEY, I thought it was a good idea. I'm sure thousands of other people who have it much worse than I would agree. Tomorrow I have my follow up with Dr. Francis. She's such an awesome neurologist. I love visiting her. Seriously one of, if not THE best doctor I've ever had, besides my PA, which I also LOVE. The thing that makes or breaks a doctor for me???
My good doctor requirements:
1. Consistency
2. Communication
3. Taking time to call you personally
Both do that and they are both, in my book, worth keeping as long as possible. Tommorrow we'll see how those MRI's faired & what their reports had to say. They only did thoracic and cervical, but it will at least give an idea of what's brewing beneath the surface {insert meniacal laugh here. reference: BU WAH HA HA, The Count, Cruella DeVille} I feel like I should have giving courses tonight on injections. My sister was around for the lucky number 7 on September 7 - ooh, the coincidence. She was asking me about my rebiject pen (which I have so lovingly nicknamed "the stabber") , asking why I don't use it, how much do I inject, does it hurt, etc. It was kind of nice having someone to talk to. She's the only one I've let watch me inject myself. It seems that every day I have to do these injections, the more I mentally try to talk myself out of doing them. Not getting easier, but harder. Last night I was back in pep talk mode and I almost said to hell with it. Maybe it's just from being tired, but I ask myself, "Is it worth doing?" I decide to can my thoughts and go to bed early. I just can't be thinking like this. I don't have the health or the patience. I made a good choice though because I almost slept through the night again. That hindsight is 20/20 and sometimes, it's just batting 100. Period.

4 comments:

Carrie said...

Michelle

Your posts sound like they came out of my mouth. I eat like crap lately and don't care but wonder if it is causing me to be more sluggish and fatigued than usual. I too have to talk myself into my shots more so than I did months ago. I love my neurologist...he's the best. I get in moods lately where I just don't want to talk or be around any one. I am on antidepressants so I don't think that's why. I just think I need time to empty my brain becase I get confused if it gets too full.

I can't concentrate lately either and have not had a whole nights sleep in months. I started taking Lunesta along with my pamelor at night and so far things are getting better. Was only up once last night.

As far as the licence plate things go, I lived in North Dakota for a year but refused to change my plate from a MI plate since I knew I would be moving back to MI in a year or two.

-best wishes
-Carrie

jenny said...

Hey Michelle, Keep smiling! You guys don't have go through the wringer getting medicine's! I suppose we're lucky over here that way...National Insurance direct off our salaries at about £15 ($8) a month and no doctor or hospital bills to pay! Long live the national health service!

Jenny x

Michelle said...

Carrie - Maybe we were twins somewher in a parallel universe. Your posts sound like mine! I'll keep thinking of you.

Jenny - You are lucky. Insurance companies here are weird. Just plain weird. LOL.

mouse said...

Hi Michelle! Keep up with the humour and you'll do just fine. Laughter is the greatest pain reliever in my book. And it's the only contagious thing that is good for people! Glad things are getting better and pizza's supposed to be very healthy:)