Friday, September 30, 2005

September 26 - 30th, 2005

FRIDAY, 9/30
Day 3, no interviews. I met Mike for lunch today for the first time. It was nice. I miss him so much sometimes. Even after I've seen him for 3 days, I leave and ten minutes later I wish I were still near him. I think it scares him to death just as much as it sometimes scares me. He's so shy and quiet. I'm the out spoken one. Somehow we're just good together. It's like the lyrics from the Howie Day song: Collide.
I'm quiet, you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
You somehow find, you and I collide
Today my sister and I drove to South Dakota. It was a nice drive with two ferrets and my sister's friend, Shannon. It was long drive, though, that I have not taken in awhile. I feel bad for not coming home more often. Two Diet Mountain Dews and four hours later I nearly climbed the headliner of my Jetta trying to get out of the car. I was so sick of driving. It was good to come home. Good to see my mom, my dad and my sisters. Good to come home to family. My family. My crazy Barnum and Bailey, downright lovable, squeezable, irreplaceable family... Man, I missed them more than they know. My sis and my sisters two friends and I ventured to the local hangout bar, Lagers for one drink and one taste of local rifraff. We ran into my aunt and uncle visiting from Omaha, a nice surprise. We hit the one grocery store still open at 1:30am (it's a small town) and headed home. One flatbread pizza later and we were off to sleep at 2:30am. I never sleep when I get home. Good thing I've been taking it easy this week on my "pseudo vacation". Hahahahahaha.......

Day 2, 3 interviews. Today I met with career agency X and an insurance company and an old food brokerage with many people who I used to work with. In the mix mostly were Admin Asst. positions, one regular, one executive. The good thing about my situation, I get to be picky. I get to find what I want to do without sacrificing money or my mindset right now and that is a good position to be in. Like winning the lottery if you will. I went to Mike's today. I asked him if we needed to take a break. With everything going on. Can I concentrate on finding a job, being sleepless 4 nights a week, and having a boyfriend who seems too busy? I'm not sure. I think we talked, but I don't know how much we worked out. I love him dearly, I just need him more "here". I'm hoping that he sees that. Soon.

Day 1, 1 interviews. I slept in. You didn' t think I wouldn't take advantage of that, would you? Of course not. Let's consider reality here. I'm on a pseudo vacation. I love that word, pseudo. Anyway, I have an interview today (first one!) with a motorcycle manufacturer that likes me a lot. I like them, too. They were fun at the interview. Mike's mom called to wish me luck on my interviews and see if I was enjoying my "pseudo vacation". Told you I like that word. I like Mike's mom, too. She really is a sweet lady. I'm glad we started talking. It's good to have a "mom" when yours isn't the closest. My mom is 4 1/2 hours away and even though she gives me a big "I love you" and an "OOOOH-AHHH" (hug) via phone, sometimes you still need someone around to tell you mom things to your face. I hope it works out with this company. It's a run with scissors position and hey, I've been known to run with scissors. I am not feeling too well tonight. I feel like crawling under a rock. Mike was supposed to go home with me to South Dakota on Friday and he forgot and other things came up. I feel like it is just bad timing with everything lately with us.

The people at work threw me an ice cream social on my last day. I'm excited and scared and nervous all at the same time! I feel like a kid with a new license! I finally left at 2:00pm today. Of course, being me, I cried on the way home. I realized on the way home reading my card, that my boss had wished me good luck. I was surprised, yet not. I did a good job for him no matter how crappy he treated me along the way and I will find a job that challenges me, keeps my potentials high and pushes my limits again. So help me, I will. I have full faith.

MONDAY, 9/26
Today was my last day of work with the company that I am soon parting ways with. It was bittersweet, yet sad. I realized that my boss has been avoiding me at all costs, but snapped just one last time at me for good jackass measure. I'm wondering why I let him treat me the way I have for so long. It reminds me of the time I cleaned out my "friends closet" and drew the line in the sand with those who refused to go the extra mile in the friendship marathon of life. You just have enough. I needed this push to show me how I had enough of being an employee who is no longer challenged. In a way, I'm sad that people that I have seen grow with me over the last four years will be somewhere else day to day. Every day that goes by though, I realize that this is my best interest.

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